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Saturday, April 2, 2011

GAY RANKINGS

Before we begin, I’d like to explain my ranking scale. At the end of each review, I will give the film a gay ranking from one to Oscar Wilde. Here’s a quick rundown:

If the film is not gay:

JOHN WAYNE

If the film is VERY not gay:
PAT ROBERTSON

If the film is historically-significant-gay:
ELTON JOHN

If the film is flamboyantly gay:
BOY GEORGE

If the film is normal gay:
Neil Patrick Harris

If the film is possibly gay:
CARY GRANT

If the film is closeted gay:
ROCK HUDSON

If the film is criminally gay:
OSCAR WILDE

If the film is coded gay:
PAUL LYNDE

Most movies that we discuss will be a combination of several of the above. I mostly did this to see what John Wayne and Paul Lynde would look like standing next to each other.

That's some real chemistry, pilgrim.

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