Director: Steven R. Monroe
Writer: Jason Bourque
Starring: Nick Chinlund, Erin Karpluk (No, I did not make up those last names), and Whitey from One Tree Hill
A wyvern attacks a small
town and strands its residents with no means of reaching the outside world. It’s a tale as old as time. Alaska
(A wyvern is a dragon, by the way.)
The townspeople are kooky in a Northern Exposure-type way. They get eaten periodically before finally defeating the wyvern with a truck. (Half-hearted spoiler alert.)
ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
This is a Syfy channel original movie, so it caters to the lowest common denominator of creature feature enthusiasts (i.e. cat ladies and shut-ins). I caught this on a rainy, gloomy Saturday morning, which only added to the pure terror of computer-animated carnage.
. Everyone dresses like Sarah Palin. I ODed on flannel. Alaska
Surprisingly, a fair amount. Sure, the camera cuts away whenever anything grisly happens, but there was a fair share of disembowelments and stumps. People got eaten a lot, which is as it should be.
Unlike Boredom-Fest 2011.
I’m going to work in the word “wyvern” in daily conversation.
“Wyvern” sounds like the very last thing Ernest would say after getting murdered by his best friend who finally snapped.
I apologize for the previous random thought. I enjoy puns.
OK. IS IT GAY?
Not at all. No man-candy. No coded gay characters. There was barely any straight romance. Sure the townspeople were watered-down-quirky, but it was nothing to write home about.
Honestly, I’m not surprised. Syfy movies are often the blandest of the bland, especially when they don’t feature 80s-mall-singer-sensations.
That was not who I was talking about.
And when something is bland, it’s most definitely not gay. I’ll give this a couple John Waynes.