Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I just caught 1993’s Surf Ninjas on HBO and I have one question: Is this a real movie, or did the early 90s just throw up on me?

Here are some of the many things that Surf Ninjas brings to the table:

Ernie Reyes, Jr.

the Sir Laurence Olivier of our generation

Tone Loc

If you thought he was good
as the rapping lizard from Fern Gully…

This guy standing around and acting Asian

With so many Asians out there, why does
this guy get so much screen time?
Answer: sex appeal.

Leslie Nielsen

In Surf Ninjas, he gets trampled by an elephant. Har har.

An NES videogame that is somehow linked to reality

Not the Ralph Bakshi film about Nazis

Little kids that overcome their day-to-day problems by learning karate

Jonathan Brandis before he trained talking dolphins

Rob Schneider as a high school student (!)

Oh lord.

Surfers in SoCal with limited intelligence

San Dimas High School football rules!

A monkey that steals things and causes mischief, but actually ends up helping our heroes along

the little-seen prequel to American Beauty

Not really. I just wanted to share this film with the world.

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