Wednesday, September 21, 2011


After recently watching Final Destination 5 (or 5nal Destination, as it was originally going to be called by really stupid movie producers), I realized how much I love Tony Todd. I love him in Hatchet and Hatchet 2. I love him in season one of Chuck. And I particularly love him in Candyman, a Clive Barker horror film from the early 90s.

If you are a gay horror fan, you naturally gravitate toward Clive Barker and his works. It’s a natural mesh. He makes movies with a queer sensibility. And even if his films are butchered by interference (Nightbreed), they’re still interesting. This is perhaps the most perfect film that Mr. Barker can make. Sure, Hellraiser is probably more important. It probably has a bigger following, but from start to finish, Candyman is a more consistent, better constructed film.

Plus, it stars the incomparable Virginia Madsen. And even though Jennifer Laurence is a scream queen of the highest order, Virginia is an old-school movie star. She is classy.

Here she is, crawling through the hole in a bathroom wall.

Candyman might not have inspired the franchise that he deserved (which, considering the later Hellraiser films, might be a godsend), but he will still go down in history as the number one reason mirrors are creepy as hell. Also, if I could hire anyone to narrate my life story, it would be Tony Todd.

Any guesses what FLUCH means?

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