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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

MERIDIAN


STATS:
MERIDIAN
1990
Written and Directed by Charles Band
Starring Sherilyn Fenn and others


WHA’ HAPPENED?
The girl from Northern Exposure falls in love with a beast and his evil twin. Seriously. I cannot be any more specific than that, because there are some things that man is not meant to type.

WHAT YOU SAY?
"Perfect body. Smooth. Classy."

"Do not cry. I need you to love me."

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
I love Charles Band. I love direct-to-video horror films from the early 1990s. I wasn't expecting Tolstoy, which is fine with me. I freaking hate Tolstoy.

SHIRTS AND SKINS:
This film has lots of nudity. Seriously. Very Skinemax. I half-expected Emmanuelle to pop up and say a monologue about something. (Because that's what those movies were about, right? Monologues?)


And admittedly, some of that nudity happened to be male... but it was all slightly hairier than I would like.


BLOOD AND GUTS:
Nope. Everyone was too busy sexing.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
I think I would like this movie a little more if the tragic beast character didn't remind me of Sloth from The Goonies.

Hey you GUYS!

OK. IS IT GAY?
Sure. It's all about tragic romance and beautiful people and epic love stories that transcend time and space. There are also best friends who tell it like it is AND wildly inaccurate depictions of circus gypsies. I believe that at least some of those things would be of interest to the gay demo.

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