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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK



STATS:
SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK
1988
Directed by Howard R. Cohen
Written by Howard R. Cohen
Starring Ray Walston, other people

WHA’ HAPPENED?
The same thing as Saturday the 14th, just with different people and less humor. Also, instead of a magic monster book, this movie has a magic smoking crack. That is right. A magic smoking crack that gives birth to strange things.

Like an eye window.

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
I grew up with the first film. I acknowledge its many flaws, but I love it so so much. I knew that this sequel exists, but it’s notoriously hard to track down. So I went to Amazon.com, which is a great place to find VHS copies of anything, and ordered myself a copy of this film. Now that I’ve seen it, I fully understand why it’s so hard to track down.

What!

SHIRTS AND SKINS:
This film is chock-full of nudity. Actually, no nudity. Like in the first film, the teenage daughter takes a wacky bath with a wacky monster. But other than that, nothing to report. Just a lot of wholesome fully-clothed talking scenes of talking with clothes on.

Also, sexual tension.

FAMOUS PEOPLE:
This film has some familiar faces. There’s nothing more fun than watching someone you like as they slum their way through something beneath them. People like him:

Hey. It’s that guy. Losing some of his Hills Have Eyes cred.

And him:

Hey. It’s that guy. Taking a break from reviewing films.

And him:

Hey. It’s that guy. I recognize him from 60 Minutes.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
Why do I recognize this house? Is it the house from House IV? Or Real Genius? Anyone? Thoughts?


FINAL VERDICT:
This film is awful. Seriously. People don’t act like real human beings. They do wacky things for no reason at all. It’s the fakest, dumbest thing, and a true step down from the dumb-but-fun original.

Stupid people being stupid. With fog.

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