Pages

Thursday, November 3, 2011

KILLER MOVIE


STATS:
2008
Written and Directed by Jeff Fisher
Starring Leighton Meester, Paul Wesley, Kaley Cuoco, Jason London, and Robert Buckley (basically anyone who has ever been on the WB or the CW)

WHA’ HAPPENED?
A film crew gets picked off one-by-one by a masked killed with a pair of scissors. It’s a period drama.

WHAT YOU SAY?
Sadly, I was expecting this film to have a lot of one-liners. It doesn’t. But I did like the retarded final line: It’s a bullet-proof vest!

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
I grew up in the 90s, so I have a soft (some might say defective) part of my heart for teen slasher movies with a long list of red herrings and beautiful 30-something actors. This feels like a throw-back to the halcyon days of the late-90s when things like I Still Know What You Did Last Summer were green lit just because it had a snarky script, some deaths, and boobs.

SHIRTS AND SKINS:
This film has a lot of very good looking actors and actresses, but very little actual nudity. We do, however, see the long-awaited return of Al Santos, the oft-shirtless actor from the WB’s teen soap spoof Grosse Point. Even when he’s fully clothed, he’s still, you know, this guy…


We also have one of the London twins (I was too lazy to look up which one), who used to be the next big thing. I am glad they get steady work on movies like these.


BLOOD AND GUTS:
The killer mostly uses a pair of scissors, which is pretty unique, though not completely unprecedented. I also enjoyed his ingenuity, and the gore effects weren’t too shabby. A lot of severed heads flopping around. God bless them.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
The final reveal (as well as the reality-TV-style testimonials) seemed to come from a completely different movie, one that viciously lampooned Hollywood. This movie has a glimmer here and there, but it certainly doesn’t take enough jabs at the industry to be funny or interesting. And as far as the testimonials, I’ve seen better.



OK. IS IT GAY?
Well, there’s a lesbian producer, but she’s pretty much living the bitchy, alpha-female stereotype. Like I said, this film isn’t much of a comedy. If it had played up its camp value just a little bit more, it would have definite appeal to the gay demo. Also, shirtlessness. There seemed to be a serious lack of any titillation for a slasher film. All I can say is this is a big case of missed opportunities. But it’s also fun and brainless, like one Mr. Al Santos.

No comments:

Post a Comment