Saturday, December 10, 2011


When I mention the movie House, people assume that I am talking about that great 80s horror-comedy with William Katt and a bunch of crazy ghosts. Or maybe House 2, its equally good sequel with the best subtitle ever (House 2: The Second Story). Or maybe House 4, which is like the original, except creepy and stupid. Fun fact: there is no House 3, at least not in America.

But I don’t want to talk about that film series. I would rather talk about the Japanese movie from the 1970s. House was meant to be the Japanese equivalent of Jaws: a horror movie blockbuster that captures the national attitude at the time. The fact that the filmmakers thought that they could capture their country’s zeitgeist with a film about human-eating pianos, floating heads, and witch cats really tells you a lot about Japan. God bless them and their pop culture craziness.

Let us take a moment to savor this film. First, look at this photo of a girl whose fingers were eaten by a piano...

The disturbing part of this picture is not the fact that she is missing all of her fingers, but the fact that she is smiling about it. This film makes no sense!

And behold this scene, in which a girl finds a floating head hidden inside a well. The head flies around for a few seconds, then bites her on the butt. She is screaming, of course, but again, it looks like she might be smiling a little too.

If these pictures intrigue you, please Netflix this movie ASAP. I honestly cannot tell if it is amazing or horrible. There is no possible way that I can judge this film. Just know that it is unlike anything you have ever seen. Unless, of course, you live in Japan.

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