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Monday, March 5, 2012

DYING BREED


STATS:
DYING BREED
2008
Directed by Jody Dywer (Is that the world's worst pen name, or the world's best real name?)
Starring Leigh Whannell (Insidious, Saw) and Nathan Phillips (Wolf Creek)

WHA’ HAPPENED?
A researcher disappears in the Tasmanian jungle looking for some Tasmanian Tiger thing, so her sister and a few friends follow her footsteps to try to figure out what happened. And what did happen? Cannibals. A well organized network of local cannibals that might be related to a historical serial killer and (bestiality alert) the Tasmanian Tiger itself. Freaking Australians.

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
I wanted to watch this movie because of my love-hate relationship with Australian horror cinema. (For your homework assignment, watch Razorback, Rogue, Wolf Creek, and Dead-End Drive-In and try to figure out which movies go in the love column and which go in the hate column.) I also knew this one involved cannibals, so it could be glorious or awful. On a scale of Wrong Turn 1 to Wrong Turn 3, I had my fingers crossed that it would end up being closer to Wrong Turn 1.

SHIRTS AND SKINS:
No nudity of interest. Whannell and Phillips are both handsome, by the way, in an off-kilter kind of way.


BLOOD AND GUTS:
Fingers get bitten off. Whannell gets all bloodied. And there are computer animated dingo things. Nothing to write home about.

POSSIBLE DRINKING GAME:Take a shot every time someone mentions The Pie-Man. You will get DRUNK. And not at all scared, because holy crap that is a stupid name for a mass murderer.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
This isn’t horrible, but I was hoping for something ape-shit insane, like the Down Under version of The Hills Have Eyes Part II. Instead, I got something that was a little gory, a little creepy, but none too memorable. That finger-eating girl was pretty scary though. And the scenery makes me really want to visit Tasmania. With a large group of people, of course.

ARGH! PIE MAN!

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