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Thursday, March 1, 2012

LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III


STATS:
Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III
1990
Directed by Jeff Burr
Starring Viggo Mortensen (!)


WHA’ HAPPENED?
Leatherface kills a bunch of people by the side of the road. Hilarity ensues.

WHAT YOU SAY?
There’s road kill all over Texas.

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
This is sort of the forgotten sequel in the original Chainsaw series. It’s not the original, obviously. It’s not known as the funny one. And it’s not the god awful one that nearly derailed Rene Zelwegger's career before it even started. It’s just that other one, the one in the middle that has Viggo Mortensen in it, but no one can remember what happens.

BLOOD AND GUTS:
Sure, it’s graphic. This whole series is. But a lot of the violence is so quick and badly lit, it was hard to even keep track of who was still alive and who wasn’t. Not much of a ringing endorsement, huh?

PLOT HOLES AND CRAZINESS:
I’m not an expert on chainsaws, but I don’t think they’d still be running as they slowly sink into a lake. Just saying.


FINAL THOUGHTS:
There’s a reason this movie is a footnote in the franchise. After watching it two days ago, I honestly don’t remember most of what happens. I remember the gas station craziness at the beginning, and the roadkill, and the big fight at the end. But whole chunks of this movie just aren’t that memorable. Say what you want about the wacky antics of part two; at least that movie sticks with you. After sitting through this one, I feel like I’ve just watched the original over again, but I was slightly drunk at the time.

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