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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Thanks... and I'll See You Soon!

As some of you may have noticed, the posts have gotten a little sporadic as of late. Well, there's a good excuse for that. Well... not exactly a GOOD excuse... but an adequate excuse. I've recently relocated to a small town in China (got a new job, long story, it's really awesome), which means I live in an area with limited wi-fi and a country with increased government regulations on websites. So, it's been a tad difficult to keep these blogs going on a bi-weekly basis.

So I wanted to thank everybody who has been checking out this website for the last year and a half. Plus, I wanted to give the following message to all the people who have never checked out this website: Suck it! You are, by definition, unable to read this message.

I will try to get back to you guys as soon as possible. But for now, keep being awesome and watch as many movies as possible.

Thanks!

Monday, July 2, 2012

POCAHONTAS

Pocahontas (1995)
        
      
Horror connections:
John Kassir (The Cryptkeeper!)
Christian Bale (American Psycho)
Billy Connolly (Fido)
          
Gay connections:
Out voice actor David Ogden Stiers continues his partnership with Disney by voicing two new characters, Governor Ratcliffe and his manservant Wiggins. Hmm.
            
Bambi’s Mother Alert:
Unfortunately, no traumatizing on-screen deaths. Christian Bale accidentally shoots some guy, who topples in slow motion. Mel Gibson almost gets his head bashed in by a chief stick. (Pocahontas rescues him, of course. If she hadn’t, they probably wouldn’t have made this film.)
          
Coded gays:
Ratcliffe and Wiggins
       
Gay or British?
           
Ratcliffe and Wiggins have an interesting master/servant relationship. They both fawn over their overly pampered pug Percy. They bicker. Wiggins spends most of his manic energy trying to please Ratcliffe. Ratcliffe is overly fussy when it comes to appearances and fashion. (Admittedly, he sings about “the ladies of court,” but he seems more concerned with impressing everybody than getting laid.) This pairing has a definite “married couple” vibe, much like the Jumba and Pleakley duo from Lilo and Stitch (one half of which was also voiced by Stiers). It's stereotypical and jarring, but doesn't get a lot of screentime.
    
And this is their dog, Percy. It’s a pit bull.
                 
Bottom Line:
Does this film deliver on genuine suspense and horror? No. Does it include gay characters of interest and depth? Not exactly. What it does deliver are songs drowning in political correctness and two coded gays that function as comedy relief/plot forwarders.
           
But the characters do have nice hair.