CRITTERS 3

Here's a fun fact that many of my readers might not know. I'm actually Leonardo DiCaprio. I get tired of making award-winning movies and talking to other famous people about global warming, so I write this gay-themed horror blog to unwind.

The second thing you might not know about me is that I got my start pre-What's-Eating-Gilbert-Grape by starring in Critters 3, otherwise known as the second sequel to a Gremlins-ripoff that no one remembers. From there, I transitioned into more legit movies, such as The Aviator and The Beach and the upcoming J. Edgar.

Now, if you are a Leonardo DiCaprio fan, then you should probably stay away from this horrid, horrid film. If you are a Leonardo DiCaprio SUPER-fan, however, then please watch me get my start in the biz. It's sort of like witnessing a really uncomfortable-looking childbirth, only the child is my career and the birth is this film, and the vagina is cinema, I guess.