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Saturday, July 30, 2011

SKYLINE



STATS:
Skyline
2010
Directed by The Brothers Strause
Written by Joshua Cordes and Liam O’Donnell
Starring Eric Balfour and Donald Faison

WHA’ HAPPENED?
Aliens attack all the cities of the Earth (I think) through giant beams of blue light that zap people up into their spaceships. The aliens look like tripods and they eat brains. The ending didn’t make sense, but Im not interested enough to google exactly what happened. Something about Eric Balfour having a glowing red brain that turns him into an alien, but a good one. And he gets to save his pregnant girlfriend or something. It is Shakespearean.


Also, very well-acted. Lots of blank gazes.

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
This film was made on the cheap by the special effects guys behind Battle: LA, another recent sci-fi misfire. Apparently, they were able to piggy-back off the effects from the bigger budget film, so they made an entirely separate movie with an entirely different plot. This one is about aliens battling in LA instead of… well, maybe it is the same movie. Either way, that backstory intrigued me for some reason.

SHIRTS AND SKINS:
Donald Faison walks around missing his shirt.


He is also missing Zach Braff, so I am not complaining.

Eric Balfour, however, is fully clothed the entire time. God damn you, wife-beater.


I mean the shirt, not the fact that this guy literally beats
his wife, because that would be a wholly different film.

BLOOD AND GUTS:
People get eaten by aliens. Big whoop. My favorite scene is when our hero pummels a giant alien to death with his fists and a brick. (No screen-cap, though. The picture would be entirely too awesome.)

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
I wish the ending wasn’t god-awful. And I wish the glowing alien lights had the power to zap off wife-beaters. That would be nice. Maybe for the sequel that will never, ever happen.

OK. IS IT GAY?
Nope. But it’s harmless. And Eric Balfour and his facial  hair always remind me of a sexy, sexy genie.

What did I say about blank gazes?

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