Thursday, April 28, 2011


Scream 2
Director: Wes Craven
Writer: Kevin Williamson
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Jamie Kennedy, the fat kid from Stand By Me

Ghostface is back… and this time he’s gone to college!

Just pour the Milwaukee ’s Best through my mask. I’ll manage.

Scream was a seminal moment for post-modern horror. Everyone knows this. Scream 2 came less than a year later and is almost as highly regarded as the original. It’s less groundbreaking, but it still comes with an aura of late-90s awesomeness that’s pretty hard to deny.Plus, Kevin Williamson is a pretty important figure for gay entertainment.

If you ignore Hidden Palms, of course.

Jerry O’Connell gets tied up and shirtless, which is always nice. Other than that, I couldn’t find anything to mention.

Hey, Jerry, why don’t you SLIDE into a universe without clothes?

Ever watched an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and thought, “I like that blonde girl, but wouldn’t it be cool if she got murdered?”? Well, you’re in luck. Sarah Michelle Gellar is in this film for a grand total of two scenes, one of which is her death scene. (Hint: it’s the second one.)

Despite Randy’s rule that sequels have death scenes that are “much more elaborate,” the deaths in this one don’t exactly put the original’s to shame. I’m very fond of the opening death with Mrs. Will Smith (and the way Scary Movie spoofed it). I also liked the random car chase death and Buffy’s sorority slaughter.

However, the climax (set on the stage of some Greek play) is definitely underwhelming compared to the original film.

I get the Cassandra motif, but if they were going Greek,
why not go all the way?

On the other hand, Randy’s death was sudden and extremely affective. It was almost like he’d been X’ed.

I’d like to imagine what Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Cruel Intentions character would do in this film. Or in I Know What You Did Last Summer… Hmm…

She’d probably snort some coke and NOT get horribly murdered.

Speaking of Cruel Intentions… Ryan Philippe should be in this film. He should look like late-90s Ryan Philippe but have the voice of late-00s Ryan Philippe.

And he should jog.

For those who aren’t aware, the film’s original killers were totally different. Can you imagine Jerry O’Connell murdering anyone? I mean, except for Horatio Sanz in Tomcats.

The death of fun.

It doesn’t have the homoerotic overtones that Billy and Stu shared in the first film, but it’s still pretty quippy and Kevin Williamson-y.

True story: I wrote a college paper on their relationship. I aced that sucker.

It also includes a possibly gay cop. And it doesn’t exactly scrimp on WB flavor. And it includes Ellen Degeneres’s future wife as a weirdly-eyebrowed sorority sister.

After she got famous. And tweezed.

All-in-all, I’d give this a solid Chris Colfer, you know, because it’s gay and it’s courting the youth demo.

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