LEPRECHAUN: BACK 2 THA HOOD

MYTHOLOGY: No magic flute. Not a lot of crazy powers. Just gold, near-invincibility, and super-strength (for his size anyway). This is a stripped down Leprechaun, and I appreciated the change from the last film.

Also, we get a little explanation about the other leprechauns. Apparently, this guy is the last of his kind. Which is for the best, apparently.

BEST DEATH SCENE: Someone gets stabbed by a bong. Bong water turns red with blood. How come no other movie has thought of this before?

VERDICT: This is perhaps the most inept movie in the series, and it’s no surprise that they stopped with this one, but holy crap is it more fun than the previous installment. It adds some necessary physical comedy (pot-related, of course), and the main characters actually have some real-world issues besides “I want to be a rapper, maybe.” I think this installment definitely gets a bad rap. But it’s soundtrack is filled with bad rap, so I guess it’s fitting.

LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD

MYTHOLOGY: The magic necklace that turns the Leprechaun into stone is back. (Last seen in part 3.) The Leprechaun now has a magic flute. He is also stronger than in previous installments, controlling people’s minds and making their hearts explode.

WORST DEATH SCENE: Anything involving the transsexual character is mean-spirited and depressing. Not cool, Leprechaun. Not cool.

BEST SONG: This movie ends on a serious high note as the surprisingly victorious title character raps. Lep in the hood come to do no good! It’s not exactly Tupac, but whatever.

VERDICT: My least favorite installment in the series. I didn’t enjoy watching this movie, even if individual scenes are fun and clever. The acting was passible, and the Coolio cameo was the most random thing to ever happen in this series, but the trouble-making, anarchic vibe of the previous installments in mostly lacking.

Then again, the rap number…

LEPRECHAUN 4: IN SPACE

MYTHOLOGY: The Leprechaun is a space creature now. He can transport his soul through urine. By this point in the series, they aren’t even trying for consistency anymore.

BEST DEATH SCENE: The Leprechaun popping out of the guy’s crotch was at least unusual. And the assistant getting his head into a pizza was as Looney Tunes as you could get.

VERDICT: This movie is exactly what you’d expect from the title. It is stupid and nonsensical and proud of it. Like the others, this one is fun almost all the way through. My main gripe is that the climax involves a completely unnecessary mutant spider. Why? We don’t need the extra complication. A space-leprechaun is crazy enough.

LEPRECHAUN 3

MYTHOLOGY: Leprechaun bites will give you Leprechaun magic. A necklace can turn the Leprechaun into a statue. Leprechauns are all about dirty limericks, apparently.

BEST DEATH SCENE: The magician getting sawed in half. That’s as old as they come, but seriously… so, so good. The topless television robot lady was good too.

VERDICT: The funniest out of the entire franchise. Coming from someone who has been to the Vegas strip several times, this film’s depiction of Las Vegas is almost 100% BS, but so what? The jokes are dirty, the main character is dorky-cute, and the murder scenes are consistently insane.

LEPRECHAUN 2

MYTHOLOGY: Doesn’t like certain kinds of metal. Obsessed with finding a wife. Really, really old.

BEST MAKE-OUT SCENE: The leprechaun licks his new wife on the face. That’s how Irishmen say hello. Best tongue scene since Freddy Krueger in Nightmare 1.

VERDICT: I frequently skip over this one in my re-viewing habits, but it’s just as funny, goofy, and scary as the first one. Warwick Davis seems to be having the time of his life, even if the other actors are uniformly awful.

The LA setting is actually an improvement over the single barn from part one, expanding the scope of the story and making everything feel more important somehow. (Sort of like the change in epic-ness from Critters 1 to Critters 2 or Alien to Aliens.)

The Leprechaun-finding-a-wife storyline was cheesy fun, but I’m glad they dropped it for future installments. I’d rather not think about the mechanics of that situation.

LEPRECHAUN (Part One)

MYTHOLOGY: Comes from Ireland. Doesn’t like four leaf clovers. His magic is tied to his gold. Obsessed with making shoes.

BEST DEATH SCENE: Jumping on the pawn shop owner with a pogo stick. Great product placement, too.

VERDICT: This movie will always have a soft spot in my heart. It hasn’t aged well over time, particularly Jennifer Aniston’s Valley Girl schtick and basically everything that comes out of her mouth. But the movie still rides a very fine line between horror and cheese that still works. It never forgets that it’s trying to be a fun, scary ride.

LEPRECHAUN!

I decided to start this year off right. Since I have a few days off to spend lazing around and basking in the glow of holy-crap-it's-already-2012, I thought I would spend the first few days of the Mayan death-year watching one of my favorite horror franchises back-to-back: LEPRECHAUN!

Now, I know I've talked about several of these films before (particularly the last few sequels that frankly were not my favorites), but I wanted to take a look at the franchise as a whole and try to see what new insights I can draw from movies I've seen dozens of times before. Will I change my tune? Probably. I switch my opinions on these movies faster than Warwick Davis can jump on a pogo stick. So join me for the next few days as we relive the exploits of everyone's favorite mini-killer, Chucky! I mean, Leprechaun!

Leprechaun 3

STATS:
Leprechaun 3
1995
Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith (Dead End Drive-In)
Writer: David DuBos (based on Mark Jones characters)
Starring: Warwick Davis, Caroline Williams ( Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2)… and I’m sure some other people are in this too.

WHA’ HAPPENED?
Everyone’s favorite Ewok is back, and this time he has naughty limericks. Warwick Davis reprises his role as the titular badass, except now he’s in Las Vegas and on a more direct-to-video budget. He was somehow frozen by a magic necklace, and now he’s free to kill people and get back his pot of gold. In the process, he bites our main character and turns him into a leprechaun too.

I’ll cut you.

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
No, it’s really not special. I just chose this film because I have a soft spot for the Leprechaun films. They’re trash.

SHIRTS AND SKINS:
Robot boobs. Some busty women. Nothing man-related.

BLOOD AND GUTS:
A woman explodes and the Leprechaun busts out his umbrella to shield himself from the goo. If that sentence appeals to you, then you should watch this film.

We also have a magician get sawed in half. That’s a winner.

Especially if it’s this guy.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
So if you blast a pot of gold with a blowtorch, it’ll disappear. Is that like a science thing?

So leprechaun poop is green. Not surprising, but good to know.

Sign it was made in the mid-90s: a White Zombie reference.

I don’t think Vegas looks the way this movie thinks Vegas looks.

OK. IS IT GAY?
Before I answer that, I just want to say that this is the most enjoyable of the Leprechaun sequels. It’s kills are memorable, it never drags, and it has a steady stream of jokes that feel organic to the story. Sure, there aren’t any Friends stars in this one…

Can you even imagine? She’d be soooo good in this.

…But it’s overall a really good time.

Is it gay? Not really. But there’s still something special about it, in its own little direct-to-video way… Eric Roberts!

LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD

STATS:

Leprechaun in the Hood

2000

Director: Rob Spera

Writer: William Wells, Alan Reynolds, Rob Spera, Doug Hall, John Hoffman (and based on characters by Mark Jones)

(With this many writers, it must be good!)

Starring: Warwick Davis, Ice T

WHA’ HAPPENED?

The Leprechaun is frozen as a statue until three bungling rapper/thieves accidentally resurrect him and steal his magic flute. They use the flute to get better at rapping. Both the Leprechaun and shady music producer Ice T chase after them to get the flute back. In the process, the Leprechaun gets high, creates an army of zombie fly-girls, and kills a bunch of people.

I believe it was inspired by the Bard.

WHAT YOU SAY?

Rather than list off the most quotable lines (which this movie has its fair share of), I’ve decided to post a video that combines Leprechaun with my second favorite Disney movie.

You guessed it: The Great Mouse Detective.

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?

This is the penultimate chapter of the Leprechaun sextilogy. I’ve sat through the previous four. Why stop now?

Um… because you sat through Leprechaun in Space?

SHIRTS AND SKINS:

None that I can remember. We see a lot of zombie women in short skirts gyrating away to the Leprechaun’s ill rhymes, but nothing else of notice. Nothing gay, anyway.

BLOOD AND GUTS:

This film certainly doesn’t scrimp on gore. We have two exploding hearts, some mutilations, and strangulations galore. Background characters pop up in a scene just to be dispatched soon afterward… which is as it should be.

Oh? Is that a nameless pedestrian? He’s screwed.

PLOT HOLES AND CRAZINESS:

Continuity isn’t this series’ strong point, but where the heck did this magic flute come from?

If the Leprechaun can explode hearts from several feet away, why doesn’t he do that within the film’s first five minutes? Bing bang boom. It’s over. That would leave us enough time for lots more rapping.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:

All horror movies should have a minimum of one 1970s flashback. And all flashbacks should have a minimum of two jokes about hiding comically large objects in afros.

On second thought, no. That’s a horrible idea.

OK. IS IT GAY?

For an installment of the anything-goes, fun-loving Leprechaun saga, this entry is surprisingly homophobic. Sure, it’s set in the rap world, which isn’t known for being a bastion of gay visibility.

No homo, foo.

Or female empowerment.

No caption needed.

Even so, the film includes a cross-dressing character that everyone else finds disgusting. To make matters worse, he dies in a sexually demeaning way.

In addition, the wise grandmother mocks one of the other main characters for possibly being gay.

A different homophobic grandmother.

Later in the film, two separate characters are killed on two separate occasions because they were coming on to the Leprechaun disguised as a woman. “WHAT? You’re a man? WHAT? You’re killing me?” This could be interpreted as an indictment of chauvinism, but… nah. It seemed much too mean-spirited.

During the climax, our two heroes infiltrate the leprechaun’s lair dressed as call girls. This only muddles the gender politics further. Are they supposed to feel shame for how low they’re stooping? Do they suddenly have an insight into how they previously treated the deceased female impersonator? I don’t know. Jury’s still out.

All this comes down to a film that is surprisingly unfriendly to gay viewers (and women). It pains me to say this, because the Leprechaun is usually such a jolly fellow, but I’m giving this film a Pat Robertson.