Wednesday, December 7, 2011


House of Fears is a 2007 slasher pic that I dug up on Netflix. It does not reinvent the wheel, but it is a fun ride nonetheless. The plot involves a magic African statue that brings your fears to life. And those fears include scarecrows, sand, and a pale bald guy. To each his own.

I enjoyed this film, particularly the middle section when our characters wandered around the abandoned amusement park like Scooby Doo characters. It was almost comedic how often they accidentally got split up. Those meddling kids!

Even better, this movie stars Canadian actor Corey Sevier, a former child star that people might recognize (but probably will not) from the Night in Terror Tower episode of Goosebumps. What what. He has grown up a lot since then. Especially his arms. And eyebrows.

He provides a good amount of wholesome Canadian beefcake during the many boring scenes of exposition. I found it hard to tell whether his character was a douche or a leading man, but it did not really matter. Especially with that grade-A eyebrow acting.

The movie itself follows the slasher formula to a T, a very very cliched T. That, coupled with death scenes that range from bland to oh-my-god-a-one-armed-scarecrow-is-attacking-me, makes this a not very good film. But points for beefcake. Plus, you cannot really go wrong with dumb teens exploring an abandoned amusement park. That is the stuff that dreams are made of.

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