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Monday, August 29, 2011

BLOODSUCKERS FROM OUTER SPACE


STATS:
BLOODSUCKERS FROM OUTER SPACE
1984
Starring Brad Pitt, Reese Witherspoon, Charleton Heston, Patrick Stewart, and Sir Lawrence Olivier as Jethro



WHA’ HAPPENED?
Magic wind causes blood-spitting zombies. And bad acting. And kung fu scenes.

And forehead lightning, apparently.

WHAT YOU SAY?
"Not another kung fu scene!"

R. Lee Ermy and Annie Potts had great chemistry together.

ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
No. It is not. As far as I know, this film has no cult following. I had never heard about it until I saw a  weirdly sticky VHS copy at a thrift store in Topock, Arizona. Since then, I have tried to share this film with the world. My life's goal is to be the Typhoid Mary of Bloodsuckers from Outer Space fandom.

SHIRTS AND SKINS:
Not so much, which is for the best. All the characters look like they were played be regional theater actors from Colorado City, Utah.

And just as hospitable.

BLOOD AND GUTS:
Yes. The hugely entertaining teaser at the beginning of the film really sets the stage for gore. A farmer stands downwind from an evil gust of... wind, and then starts throwing up fake blood for two minutes.

It's a slow build, this film.

Of course, it wouldn't be a zombie film without severed limbs, which leads us to the following screen capture:

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was
an arm. Note the beautiful shirt fabric.

PLOT HOLES:
Not a single one. This film is thoroughly researched and strikingly realistic in its depiction of the inner city problems of 80s-era urban youth.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:
I present to you a beheading, without any explanation:


OK. IS IT GAY?
Oh God no. You straights can keep this one. We shall just watch and silently mock.

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