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Thursday, March 22, 2012

DRACULA 2: ASCENSION


STATS:
Dracula II: Ascension
2003
Directed by Patrick Lussier (Drive Angry! My Bloody Valentine 3D!)
        
WHA’ HAPPENED?
People find Dracula’s corpse and try to bring it back to life via blood, because what’s the worst that can happen? Spoiler alert (because this movie is stupid): the entire thing was orchestrated by a rich guy who’s slowly dying of [insert random disease here] because he wants to harness the power of Dracula blood. He’s basically the mad scientist of the movie.
                                        
It’s my strong hand.
   
WHA’ HAPPENED?
People find Dracula’s corpse and try to bring it back to life via blood, because what’s the worst that can happen? Spoiler alert (because this movie is stupid): the entire thing was orchestrated by a rich guy who’s slowly dying of [insert random disease here] because he wants to harness the power of Dracula blood. He’s basically the mad scientist of the movie.
   
ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
I’m a fan of the cheesy original, starring Gerard Butler as a too-screamy Dracula and Vitamin C as a look-this-was-filmed-in-the-late-90s vampire bride. This one, however, has none of that. But the leads are uniformly hot and the story looks basic and diverting.
   
SHIRTS AND SKINS:
We have the always welcome Jason Scott Lee (Lilo and Stitch, Ghoulies III, that Jungle Book live-action movie from the 90s) as a bad-ass action priest, which is the best kind of priest. We also have one of the London twins (I didn’t care enough to Google which one, because they are, in fact, twins), and this was filmed pre-bloat, apparently.
      
BLOOD AND GUTS:
Where, there is blood. Lots of blood. So drink up!
    
Heeeeyyyy you guuuyyyyssss!
         
FINAL THOUGHTS?
Not bad. It’s not the time capsule awesomeness of the original (Did I mention Vitamin C?), but it’s a fun, actiony movie taking place mostly in an old abandoned castle. The first movie was in New Orleans, I believe, but the characters in this one apparently drove from there to Romania. Or at least they traveled by map, Muppet-style!

Filmed at Grey Gardens.
    
Anyway, a solid, entertaining film, though not solid enough to bring me back for Dracula 3: Chipwrecked.

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