Is it weird that I was rooting for the bad guys throughout this movie? I mean, they were represented by the hot, semi-nude, and bitchy Traci Lords, while we were supposed to feel sympathy for the tusked green natives who talk in fakey accents and gesture a lot. That doesn’t sound like much of a competition to me. Give me Traci Lords any day.
Yeah, I said it.
And give me this low-budget train wreck over the high-budget train wreck of John Carter any day. While that movie is chock-full of loudness and wall-to-wall
Does that make this movie good? God no. It’s a mess. But I think, deep down, it knows it’s a mess. After all, it stars Antonio Sabato Jr. alongside green guys with tusks.