Sometimes I go to my friendly neighborhood thrift stores and buy cheap VHS horror movies. Invariably, the nice old ladies who sell me their wares will divert their eyes and silently judge my interest in The Alchemist or Ghoulies
III: Ghoulies Go to College.
Notice how the title doesn’t
include Roman numerals.
I added them to sound classy.
Usually, they’re right to judge. No human being not named Neve Campbell should have multiple copies of The Dark.
Disregard the frog face.
This film is about an underground worm-thing.
And no budding cineaste should be able to count on TWO hands how many Brion James movies he owns.
That said, I would just like to offer my support to anyone who feels embarrassed about purchasing clearly horrible horror films from nice old ladies. You shouldn’t feel guilty for having specific cinematic tastes, especially if you recognize how fast-foody those tastes might be.
So the next time you go to the store and glance away as the elderly cashier rings up your weirdly stained copy of Bloodsuckers from Outer Space, just hold your head up high. They don’t know what they’re missing.