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Saturday, April 2, 2011

TOTEM

What the hell is that and why does my shoulder itch so much?

STATS:
Totem
1999
Director: David DeCoteau
Writer: Was there a writer?
Starring: Jason Faunt, Marissa Tait, Eric W. Edwards, Sacha Spencer, Alicia Lagano, and introducing Tyler Anderson as Cinema's Least Convincing Native American

PLOT:
Not applicable.

SIGNIFICANCE:
Anything by David DeCoteau is of gay interest. This is the guy who did Voodoo Academy and the Brotherhood series. So yeah, he's known for bringing out the best performances in his young actors. And by performances, I mean abs.

Those two female characters must feel pretty useless
right about now.

SHIRTS AND SKINS
Unfortunately, this isn't up to the same homoerotic level as Brotherhood III: Young Demons. No long periods of shirtlessness. No making out. Just six 20-somethings killing each other or getting killed by each other. It's Shakespearean.


BLOOD AND GUTS:
Nope. Just reddish shirt stains. And puppets. Three sub-Charles Band puppets.
Terrifying.

OK. IS IT GAY?
Sure, by default. Let's say half a Boy George.

The abs half.


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